Features

YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW

By By Rick Sieman

THE VMX FILES

YOU KNOW,  YOU KNOW,  YOU KNOW

By Rick Sieman

Recently, they had the US OPEN OF MOTOCROSS on the television. It was hyped-up for weeks before the event. All kinds of PR was run about how it was to be held in Las Vegas. Even though I'm not a Supercross fan, it was probably better than watching a rerun of I Love Lucy.

Wrong. I should have spun the dial and hunted for a rerun of I Love Lucy that I had not seen before, or only seen about 40 or 50 times. Before I get into my rant and rave about the interviews, let me tell you what the coverage of the event was like.

The actual racing coverage was perhaps 15 minutes long. Most of the rest of the time was consumed with plugs on products, inane interviews with riders, mechanics and "very important people in the sport." A very long time was spent on James Stewart and how, indeed, he was an African-American.

The interviews themselves made me want to hurl a can of beer through the TV screen. They did a rather lengthy interview with James Stewart and asked him the usual questions.

James put on his best smile, beamed at the camera and coughed up one worn out cliche  after  another  as  an answer. The cliches would've been  bad  enough, because they were repeated  by  most of the new generation of "modern riders", but every fourth or fifth word that was uttered was punctuated by you know. Yes, James Stewart babbled his answers like a 14-year-old Valley girl. Typical example: "Yeah my Yamaha is running great, you know, because the mechanics, you know, are doing a great job, you know. I think the course, you know, is tight, you know, but fair. I think that,you know, the start is going to be very, very important, you know. If you don't get a good start, you know, then it's going to be a really tough fight on your way through traffic,you know ..."

No shit, James. So the start is important. What a breakthrough in information! I'll be sure not to tell the other riders.

   And so it went. I counted at least 75 you knows during the one interview that James Stewart did. Isn't there anyone at Yamaha to sit him down and tell him that his speech patterns are off the chart? Is there no one   at Yamaha   with   enough professionalism   to    make sure that James Stewart's utterances

at least semi-coherent?

It didn't stop there. They interviewed a number of other riders. Same thing... you know, you know, you know, you know. One kid after another, uttering the same bland crap.

Maybe I'm getting to be a crusty old codger, but I remember back in the days when the motocross riders had a personality, a genuinely real different personality, than the stamp-out cookie cutters that are paraded in front of us today. Where are the Jimmy Weinerts, the Brad Lackeys and John DeSotos? Who among the current crop of riders has the strong and abrasive personality of a Bob Hannah?

What we seem to have now is a collection of ultra-boring kids, more concerned with having the correct tattoo, or earring, than going fast and winning races.

I can recall a Supercross race where Bob Hannah got up at the riders meeting and said: "Which one of you %*&^A%*(^A%$*s is gonna come in second?" Can you imagine any of today's crop of riders saying that?

   It makes you wonder how Roger DeCoster, a true legend in the history of motocross, can put up with an entire generation of riders who seem to be preoccupied with getting as many colors as they can on their riding gear. Yep, multicolored helmets with blazing skulls emblazoned on them, green riding gear on red bikes, red riding gear on green bikes, and a mixture of alien colors on the blue bikes. It almost looks like they wandered through the paint department at Home Depot as it exploded.

   You can just about count on all the answers   to   all   of   the   penetrating

questions to be patented examples of what they have said previously at God knows how many   races.   Of   course,   they'll   have   to punctuate everything they say with the all too common, you know, you know, you know.

   Well, I think that before I turn on another Supercross program by a major network, I'll see if there's a program on basket weaving from Canada. You know what I mean? I mean, for sure, "you know.”

    By, You Know, Rick Sieman

Editor’s note:  This column was in VMX No. 40 and reproduced with permission.  If you want to get VMX, here’s the info:

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